Lessons Learned


  • Feeling lost or getting lost is part of finding our way back to who we really are.
  • Being good at something doesn’t mean that doing it is good for you.
  • Going to countries vastly different than our own exposes us to how other cultures and people think, how we can prioritize and do things differently. It can be a means to ‘opening the box’.
  • Being with the fear allows us to learn to be without the fear. This can be achieved through simple practice, challenging ourselves to do the things we’re afraid to do.
  • Our gender roles restrict us to dressing and behaving in ways that does nothing but restrict us from being whole and true to our own nature.
  • The only way through is forward. We cannot be who we were, nor should we try.
  • Openly talking about who we are, what we have done is a ‘coming out’ of sorts and an important means to rid ourselves of any shame, guilt, or other negativity around our past.
  • Pressure from a friend or loved one to be more masculine, feminine, strong, ‘beautiful’ is unacceptable. What is at stake, the sacred self, is too vital to give up.
  • Without the sacred self we wither, like a flower that lacks water, our vitality drains and our spirit dies.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff is a fallacy. Every experience literally shapes us. We can therefore shape our selves by choosing our experiences. Walking into a beautiful sunlit room; watching the leaves of a tree move in the wind; enjoying the color, feel and texture of our skin or the clothing we wear are experiences. We need more positive experiences than negative. Pay attention to sound, tone, images, surroundings, attitudes, behavior, beliefs that you are exposed to. Shape yourself by paying attention to the ‘small stuff’ that surrounds you.
  • Being disabled from a car accident or illness can force us to develop parts of ourselves that we haven’t had the opportunity to explore.
  • We must look to ourselves for standards of behavior and ethics and adopt the responsibility to decide for ourselves and to shape ourselves.
  • If we love our chosen partner, we must ask ourselves how we want to be with them, how we want to listen to them, support them, love them? Being in relationship is a responsibility to them and to ourselves. We must ask what they need to thrive. Does irritation, anger, condescension have a place in a relationship with someone we love or can we choose to respond, work at responding, in a different way?
  • If I am angry or irritated it has very little to do with someone else’s actions. In shaping ourselves, we must decide how we want to react, who we want to be. We can choose to do it differently. 
  • Anger and irritation is not only bad for our loved one, they are bad for us, they do us physical harm. Why would we want to do that? We must decide to be our own caretakers.
  • The universe is a field of intelligence. All we need to do is connect to it.
  • We are complicated, multidimensional beings. Each one of us is unique and holds the wisdom we seek. All we need to do is connect to it.
  • Sometimes we walk down the wrong path. We can always change directions.

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